I call him "Peanut"

Since the moment I laid eyes on him.. I fell in love.. I held him in my arms and experienced an indescribable feeling of joy, sadness, and faith that overwhelmed me. Took a breath and cried..

I remain abiding by my oath as I made when I baptized him. I will let nothing get in my way of being the shoulder he needs to lean on when he feels empty, the hands he needs when the world's weight is on his shoulders, and the ear he should vent to when he needs clarity.

I can never experience any kind of sadness when look into his angel eyes.. Just laughter and joy of this little being so loving and kind. Words cant describe the genuine happiness of being his Godmother. Nor, can anyone ever take that away from me.

Through thick n thin.. Good times n bad.. I will always remain his Madrina for as long as I stand. Till the day I die... I will forever be his.. n he will forever be mine.. This is for "Peanut" the apple of my eye..

A Womans Worth

The Moon

I wish I could hug the moon.. Makes me feel so warm inside.. all I have to do is look at it... and for a moment all my troubles are pushed aside. Quiet yet shines so bright.. Such beauty like that would catch you off guard with a glimpse of it's light. I wanna understand such beauty.. I wanna see such light.. I want the moon to take me in and shower me with all its might.. Love to see it on a clear night.. Love to see it in transition.. Love to see it on those nights where I'm on a mission. The moon is always kind to me never cruel. I feel as if I owe it something for always being there for me on those nights when I need it the most. Stay with me sweet moon.. Never leave my side.. Forever I will be yours and you will be mine...

Goal

Someone asked me what's my #1 goal in life.. I thought I would say LOVE.. but I've come to realize it's something much more rich than that... Happiness & Success.. That's all I ask for.. Love will come.. n when it does.. hopefully this time it'll stay.. Love may come.. Love may go.. Even though it hurts to let go.. I'm glad I've had the chance to be in love at all and experience what I know is REAL LOVE.. "The quickest way to find love is to give love. If you want it too badly, you will not find it. The most secure way to keep love is to give it space and care to grow. If you hold it too tightly, you will lose it." I am a true believer of this quote.. TRUE BELIEVER

Havent met you yet

"I Might Have To Wait..I'll Never Give Up..I Guess It's Half Timing & The Other Half's Luck.. Wherever You Are.. Whenever It's Right.. You'll Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life.. & I Know That We Can Be So Amazing & Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me & Now I Can See Every Single Possibility.. And Somehow I Know That... It Will All Turn Out.. I'll Give So Much More Than I Get I Just Haven't Met You Yet..."

Three times a charm?

I'm not the same after the 1st.. and I won't be the same after the second... I wonder how will I be with the third?...

Amanda in Wonderland

Sometimes, I live in a fairytale...
I'm climbing down the rabbit hole to see what's next in life... and the journey continues...

How is it I'm in love with a song?

You know when you love!!! LOVE LOVE!! a song when you can listen to it over and over and over, time and time again. You never get sick of it. It never gets old. You feel it in your heart. You feel it in your soul! This is how it makes me feel. This is how I know this song is REAL! "What if" What if...

What if- Safetysuit

"What if it makes you sad at me?
And what if it makes you laugh now but you cry as you fall asleep?
And what if it takes your breath
And you cant hardly breathe?
And what if it makes the last sound be the very best sound?

What if what I want makes you sad at me?
And is it all my fault or can I fix it please?
Cause you know that I’m always all for you
Cause you know that I’m always all for you

What if it makes you lose faith in me?
What if makes you question every moment you cannot see?
And what if it makes you crash
And you can’t find the key?
What if it makes you ask how you could let it all go?

What if what I want makes you sad at me?
And is it all my fault or can I fix it please?
Cause you know that I’m always all for you
Cause you know that I’m always all for you

And if this be our last conversation
If this be the last time that we speak for awhile
Don’t lose hope and don’t let go
Cause you should know

If it makes you sad
If it makes you sad at me
Then it’s all my fault and let me fix it please
Cause you know that I’m always all for you
Cause you know that I’m always all for you

What if what I want makes you sad at me?
And if its all my fault then let me fix it please
Cause you know that I’m always all for you
Cause you know that I’m always all for you"

Someone like me

I finally found someone like me.. A blessing and a curse. An angel in disguise, a heart so free, but he flies so far away from me.. Unable to grasp you, unable to see.. blinded by your love that wont let me be.
I finally found someone like me in so many ways.. When I think about it, it hits me differently more and more each day. We've joked, we've sighed, we've laughed and cried, we've put up walls and carefully let them down. We've done all this only God knows how.
Our loves like a dream.. too good to be true.. I don't know how I didn't see it coming.. or even how I fell for you.. Thinking I could have a love that was finally mine.. I guess it was all in my mind. Thinking I could fix something once broken and keep it for all time. Mending your heart with mine I think was my crime. Silly me, I should of known you could never be mine.
Same attributes yet different signs. How is it that I'm not yours and your not mine. Maybe it was never meant to be.. Maybe it was just a lie.. Hopefully I'll find my someone like me again and forever be mine..

...My Sanchuary...

I Like being here... this place gives me clarity... helps me to separate the good from the bad.. Think about my next move... and gives me a sense of self love & comfort...

Opening My Mind

Definitely went out of my box on this one :-)

Free..

Fine Print

"I walk a line between.. The thoughts of now and where I've been.. Today the grass is green.. I've got it all, so why reminisce.. I'm just a mermaid, who is not content with wave less oceans.. Sometimes a gusty wind is what I need to feel again..

Since I saw you last I've been holding back. I figured I should do just that. I thought I'd crack but I smiled instead. I'll let u read the fine print..."

Nadia Ali

Poetry in love

Love, the essence of what I feel.. The movement of my body.. The pitch in my voice.. The sound of two beings connected as one...
You know when you've found it... You know when it's real.. You think about it and ponder how is this possible you received a great steal.
Just one look and a thousand emotions rush through you. It's the inevitable, the unavoidable, the meaning of what is genuine and incomparable inside. The love that has stood out from all others. It is the serenity, the friendship, the laughter, the truth, and the way your heart skips a beat every time you say "I Love You too".

No matter how the wind blows you can't seem to turn away.. Love is a battlefield, something worth fighting for everyday!
As long as it's REAL! Love NEVER DIES!.. As long as we're here... in our hearts it will remain alive..
This Love won't go away... Because REAL LOVE grows everyday..
You can't run from it nor can you hide.. So embrace it as it comes, because without it you'll just be living a lie...

Blog from 08'

Stop & Stare... When u look at me.. What is it that you see?... Is it the Real Me?... Do you see all that’s inside of Me?... Do you judge me on my looks?, Do you judge me by my eyes?, Do you judge me on my character and the Eroticness that burns from inside?..or Do you judge me on my liberty?.. To act Loud & with Glee.. Someone please tell me what can it be...
Emotions so deep... Kept inside a glass jar... I wonder how can I be so close but yet so far... When you look at me... What is it that you see?... Do you see all that I am meant to be?... Do you see all I have to offer within me?... Do you see my love?..Do you see my laughter?.. Do you see all that I spare from here on and after?...
How can it be that you don’t see what i see within me?...Do you Trust your mind?... Do you Trust your heart?.. I promise I won’t hurt you not even from the Start!..

PASSION

It's what you wear, but what I BREATHE...

It's the simplicity of an idea that comes to life...

The hopes and dreams of a catipillar that blossomed into a butterfly...

It's the place of a simple stitch... The reformation of something that once was...

The body and soul of what derives within Me!!!

Colors, that bring out the inner and natural beauty out of something so unsightly and pale... Flourish with a beauty of Fire and Desire to an unbelievable Scale...

It's My Expressions... It's My Strengths... It's what I cant stop thinking about time and time again...

It's a different kinda Love.. A Love so Satisfying.. Filled with Joy and Passion... A Love that definitely not just anyone can have... And with this Love.. I will triumph.. I will grow to leave you breathless... The mere sight of this Love is unlike any other... One quick look, and you will have been captivated... Take a guess?.... It's called FASHION and I know it's SECRETS...

Dear To My Heart..

Never thought I would pursue becoming a model. It's was one of my dreams since I was a little girl. I remember my father wanting to put me in modeling, but I was ridiculously shy back then. I always loved to take pictures though. Always smiled for the camera and was photogenic. Even though I'm not the average models height.. I don't let that discourage me.. I have a lot to show for and a unique aura about me that can light up a room. I would say I get that part from my papa ;-)... He had an aura that attracted people to him. Friendly personality (but don't cross him the wrong way), generous, kind hearted, and always loved to help others. Although he wasn't perfect.. I know at the end of his days he really would have liked to have been for us (Mom, Gary & Me). He introduced me to the beauty of art.. I would paint with him and admire some of the breath taking pieces he would create, and wish I could one day be as good as him... Though I am good in abstract work, he would take your very breath away with a simple portrait. He had an eye for fantasy art. Which is why I think I love fairies so much. He was my mentor when it came to the arts.. Showed me insight of the beauty of a simple pose.. I LOVE ART and all that it consist of.. Some people will look at certain things that are not so appealing to the eye as other pieces. But, if you look hard enough and open your mind. You will find the beauty of it. For me art is a mind opener. A kind of meditation if you will... If you can open your mind and see the beauty in something so simple. It can be compared to reality in the sense that, you can open your mind and see your flaws and realize what you can do to make you a better person. That's how art has worked for me. Though not all people are like me or as open minded, they should try it... It's an eye opener.. I PROMISE! In any event, at this current moment in my life.. I am attacking opportunities that come my way especially in the arts. Fashion is my #1 Passion!... and everything else falls after. I had to find myself again. Like most things in life, you always have to go through something dramatic in your life to wake you up! Which in a way I am really grateful for cause it made me remember what I let go of that I love! My dad was always a fashion lover. He had a unique style that none can compare.. I admired him for his style and how cool he was in whatever he wore! I believe unknowingly I wanted to be like him in that aspect. I wanted to be unique and different like him. When I walk into a room I wanna grab peoples attention. That's a wonderful thing if someone can do that effortlessly!! He didn't even have to try... It just was that easy for him!... I believe I've carried down those traits. I don't have to dress extra to get noticed. My grace, personality, and smile does it all.. I've never been so content with who I've become to be in life.. Until now.. I'm beautiful inside and out.. in which, I must thank both of my parents for.. Even though life for me is still a working progress. I am content and determined to make it to where I need to be... With the artistic mind of my mentor (my father) and love & happiness in my heart... I'm gonna be just fine... I wanna take this time to dedicate this modeling contest I'm in to you daddy... I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART! THANK YOU FOR BEING WHO YOU WERE AND NOTHING LESS! YOUR ALWAYS WITH ME IN EVERYTHING I DO... THIS IS FOR YOU....
Click link below to vote:
http://www.exploremodeling.com/Contest/Faceof_ELF_2010/15278/Amanda_Alston.aspx

Thank you everyone for those who have supported me XOXO!

Life

I've learned with life you can't take everything too serious. The opportunities that are presented to you. You have to take advantage of cause you'll never know when they will be presented to you again. Every moment that leaves a happy memory.. Cherish it.. Hold it.. and never let it go. Smile, every minute of everyday. Throw your hands up.. Let go of your fears. Embrace it all.. The good with the bad.. Everything happens for a reason.. It might be for the better.. It might be for the worst.. The ending results are up to you... Fill your heart with love & happiness.. Live everyday as if it were going to be your last.. Think wisely.. Create a diversion.. Never say you can't! You can and you WILL!